Coffin Info

A Brief History of Coffins

The coffin is humanity's most enduring design object — which is fitting, since it is also the most final. For as long as people have been dying (that is: always), they have displayed an instinct to place the deceased into a container and then argue with relatives about where to put it.

The earliest coffins date to ancient Egypt, circa 3000 BCE, where wealthy Pharaohs were lovingly stuffed into nested wooden boxes, then stone sarcophagi, then pyramids, then — as an afterthought — the entire Nile Delta. The Egyptians understood that the quality of one's coffin reflected directly upon one's afterlife, which explains why Tutankhamun had a solid gold inner coffin while lesser subjects made do with reeds and wishful thinking.

The Egyptians took their coffins seriously. Which is more than we can say for their cats, several thousand of whom were also mummified and placed in coffins, presumably for company.

— Coffin Info Editorial Board

The Victorian era deserves special mention, as it represents the pinnacle of coffin-related anxiety. Premature burial was a genuine fear — and not without cause. Medical science had not yet established reliable tests for death, leading to documented cases of people waking up in coffins, in graves, and, on at least one recorded occasion, on the embalmer's table, which must have been an extraordinary conversation for all parties involved.

Edgar Allan Poe wrote about it extensively, which is either evidence of a cultural obsession or simply proof that Poe had a type. Either way, the Victorian obsession with death produced extraordinary coffin furniture: velvet linings, brass fittings, ornate handles, and viewing windows. The Victorians were many things, but they were never casual about a corpse.

Types of Coffins

The modern market offers a bewildering variety of final resting receptacles, ranging from the stately to the whimsical to the genuinely disturbing. We present them here without judgment — except for the ones that genuinely deserve it.

A Note on the Hexagonal "Toe-Pincher"

The traditional hexagonal coffin — wide at the shoulders, tapering at the feet — was the dominant form for centuries. Its nickname, the "toe-pincher," was earned honestly. Coffin makers in the 1700s and 1800s were not particularly interested in comfort, which in retrospect seems reasonable, though it does say something about the era's general bedside manner.

Liner Materials: A Connoisseur's Guide

Interior linings are typically velvet, crepe, or satin, in colors ranging from dignified white to rose to powder blue, the last of which is inexplicably popular despite making deceased persons look as though they have been placed inside a nursery. Premium options include embroidered panels, personalized quilting, and — in at least one documented case — a replica of someone's living room wallpaper. We neither endorse nor condemn this. We simply note that it happened.

Tips for Purchasing a Coffin

Buying a coffin is one of the most emotionally fraught consumer transactions in human experience, which is why the industry has historically charged whatever it wishes and people have paid it. Armed with information, you may navigate this market like the rational, if slightly morbid, adult you are.

The funeral director who tells you that a cheaper coffin is "disrespectful to your loved one" is the same person who will place that loved one into a $12,000 box and lower it into the ground where it will be entirely invisible within sixty seconds.

— Federal Trade Commission (paraphrased, but barely)

• Know the FTC Funeral Rule (1984) The Federal Trade Commission requires funeral homes to provide itemized price lists, accept coffins purchased elsewhere without charging fees, and not claim that any particular container is legally required. They are also forbidden from implying that embalming prevents decomposition indefinitely, which it does not, which is a fact that one imagines certain funeral directors find professionally inconvenient.
• You May Buy a Coffin Anywhere Funeral homes must accept coffins purchased from third-party retailers, including Costco, Walmart, and dedicated online coffin stores such as Overnight Caskets or Costco's surprisingly well-stocked casket aisle. Yes, Costco sells coffins. In bulk. This may be the most American sentence ever written.
• Do Not Shop in Acute Grief The acute grief period — the first 24 to 72 hours after a death — is precisely when funeral homes expect to be doing business, and precisely when grieving people are least equipped to evaluate price lists with clinical detachment. If at all possible, pre-plan. If not, bring the most emotionally detached person you know. Every family has one. They are often the one who suggested you read this website.
• Ask for the Complete Price List Funeral homes are legally required to hand you this document upon request. Read it. All of it. The line items will be illuminating. You will find charges for things like "facilities use," "administrative overhead," and in at least some documented cases, "memorial enhancement services," which is, apparently, a real phrase used by real people with real faces.
• Understand "Protective" Coffin Claims Coffins marketed as "protective" feature rubber gaskets and sealed lids designed to slow water infiltration. They do not prevent decomposition. They may, in fact, accelerate certain forms of it. The term "protective" is largely aspirational, like "waterproof mascara" or "unlimited data." It protects your feelings, primarily.
• Weight Limits Are Real Standard coffins typically accommodate up to 250–300 lbs. "Oversized" or "bariatric" coffins accommodate more, and cost more, and are a thing that exists. If this applies to you or your loved one, inquire in advance. Discovering the issue at the funeral home is, as one might imagine, a suboptimal time for that particular conversation.
• Interior Dimensions Matter The standard interior length is approximately 78 inches. Taller individuals may require a custom or "oversized" model. One imagines the person who discovers this discrepancy mid-funeral and simply does not enjoy doing so.
• Pre-Planning Benefits the Living Pre-purchasing a coffin spares your family from making emotionally compromised decisions at a financially motivated vendor during the worst week of their lives. It is, genuinely, one of the kindest things a person can do. It is also, admittedly, one of the stranger Sunday afternoon activities.

How to Save Money on Coffins

Death, in addition to being universal and inconvenient, is expensive. The average American funeral runs between $7,000 and $12,000, a sum that one could alternatively spend on a vacation that would, theoretically, reduce the stress that kills you in the first place. Here are strategies for economic restraint in your final transaction.

The funeral industry earned approximately $16 billion in revenue in 2023. There is no version of this statistic that is not profoundly strange.

— IBIS World, summarized without joy

Funeral Options

Modern death offers a surprisingly varied menu of final arrangements. Gone are the days when one simply expired and was placed into the churchyard before anyone could really register an opinion. Today's options range from the deeply traditional to the aggressively avant-garde.

Traditional Burial

The classic. Body is embalmed, dressed, placed in coffin, displayed at visitation, subjected to a formal service, carried in a procession, and interred in a cemetery. Takes approximately three to five days from death to burial. Familiar to anyone who has seen a film involving death, which is to say everyone. Costs: $7,000–$12,000 average.

Cremation

Now the most common disposition in the United States at approximately 57% of deaths. The body is reduced to ash and bone fragments via high-temperature incineration over two to three hours. Remains are returned to the family in a container that is, technically, called a "cremation urn" but which looks, in cheaper versions, uncannily like a hotel ice bucket. Ashes may be kept, scattered, incorporated into jewelry, mixed into tattoo ink, pressed into diamonds, or shot from a cannon. The last option is less common but entirely legal in most jurisdictions.

Green / Natural Burial

No embalming. No vault. Body wrapped in a shroud or placed in a biodegradable coffin. Buried directly in the earth at a natural burial ground, often without a headstone, marked only by a GPS coordinate, a native plant, or a small flat stone. The body decomposes and returns to the ecosystem within one to five years. The most ecologically responsible option. Also, when you think about it for more than thirty seconds, the most ancient.

Aquamation (Alkaline Hydrolysis)

The body is dissolved in a warm, alkaline solution of water and potassium hydroxide over several hours, leaving behind bones and a neutral liquid that is, per its practitioners, safe to discharge into the water system. The bones are then processed and returned to the family. Requires approximately 90% less energy than cremation. Several states have legalized it. Several others have not, presumably because the word "dissolved" makes people uncomfortable, which is understandable but botanically speaking not really different from what happens in the ground.

Terramation (Human Composting)

Legalized in Washington State in 2019 and since adopted by several others. The body is placed in a vessel with organic material — wood chips, straw, alfalfa — and over 30–60 days is converted into approximately one cubic yard of rich compost. The family receives the soil, which can be used in a garden. The closest thing available to literally becoming a plant. Poignant and also rather practical for people with vegetable gardens.

Home Funeral

Entirely legal in most US states. The family cares for the body at home — washing, dressing, and holding vigil — before direct burial or cremation. No funeral home required. Gaining in popularity among people who feel that the commercialization of death is, to put it gently, a bit much. Requires permits, varies by state, and demands a degree of composure that not all families possess in equal measure.

Memorial Service vs. Funeral Service

A funeral service traditionally has the body present. A memorial service takes place without the body — after cremation, for example, or days or weeks after the burial. Memorials are increasingly popular because they allow time for distant family to travel, permit more personalized planning, and generally involve significantly less weeping at the sight of a coffin. They can take place anywhere: a church, a park, a pub, a roller rink. We do not judge. We have seen the pub request go very well.

A Typical Funeral Timeline

For those unfamiliar with the logistics — and there is no shame in this, as most people attend far fewer funerals than they do, say, weddings — the following represents a general timeline for a traditional American funeral. Note that details vary by religion, culture, geography, and the particular chaos of the family involved.

Parts of a Funeral Service: A Field Guide

The Processional: Entry of the coffin and/or family to music. Traditionally solemn. Occasionally, per the deceased's instructions, "Highway to Hell," which has happened at more funerals than any officiant would care to admit.

Welcome and Opening Words: The officiant sets the tone. In a good service, this means honoring the person's actual life rather than a generic template about being called home. In a less good service, the officiant mispronounces the deceased's name at least twice.

Musical Selections: Two to three songs, selected by the family or pre-requested by the deceased. "My Way" by Frank Sinatra and "Time to Say Goodbye" are statistically the most common. "Don't Fear the Reaper" is more common than you'd expect.

Eulogies: One to three speakers, typically family members or close friends, each allotted five to seven minutes, most of whom will speak for twelve. See the sample speeches below for reference material.

Readings: Scripture, poetry, or meaningful prose. The 23rd Psalm. Something from Mary Oliver. Occasionally, something the deceased wrote themselves, which is either deeply moving or mildly alarming depending on the content.

The Committal: Final words before interment. "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust." A phrase that manages to be both profoundly true and profoundly unhelpful at the same time.

The Recessional: Coffin and family depart. More music. Guests stand in place, unsure whether to move, which is the truest and most universal experience of the entire ceremony.

How to Escape a Coffin
If Buried Alive

The first thing to understand about escaping a coffin is that Hollywood has given everyone extremely unrealistic expectations. In films, a character punches through the lid, claws through six feet of soil, and emerges gasping into rain-soaked moonlight. In reality, this would require the upper body strength of a competitive powerlifter, approximately four to six hours of sustained effort, and lungs that do not require air, which you have and which would run out long before you reached the surface.

The second thing to understand is that modern burial vaults — the concrete liner placed around most coffins in US cemeteries — make external soil collapse largely moot. But they also make escape essentially impossible by conventional means. The following advice pertains primarily to the period before interment, or to burial without a vault.

1. Do not panic. This is the most important instruction and the most impossible to follow. Panic increases heart rate, which accelerates oxygen consumption, which reduces your time in consciousness from roughly 45–90 minutes to something considerably shorter. Breathe slowly and shallowly. Think of something calming. We recommend not thinking about where you are.
2. Assess the lid immediately. Knock on it. Does it sound hollow or solid? Does it flex? Cheaper wooden coffins have thinner lids that can be broken. Metal coffins generally cannot be breached from inside without tools. If you are in a metal coffin, proceed immediately to step 5.
3. If the coffin has not been buried: This is far the best-case scenario. Yell. Pound. Kick. The latch on most coffins is on the exterior, but the hinge pins on cheaper models can sometimes be forced. If there is a crack of light visible, direct all energy toward that point. The lid, if wooden, will weaken at its weakest point, typically the center.
4. If the coffin has been buried: Punch upward with both fists wrapped in your shirt or jacket — this prevents soil from burying your face immediately when the lid breaks. Work methodically from the center outward. You are attempting to create fractures, not a single dramatic punch. You are not in a film. We want to be very clear about this.
5. Create a breathing pocket. When the lid begins to fracture, soil will fall in. Tuck your shirt or jacket over your face as a filter. The soil directly above you is relatively loose and may be swum through by pushing upward while covering your airway. The technique: hands above head, push up and forward in a swimming motion, never letting soil settle above your face.
6. Do not go straight up in packed soil. Angle slightly. Packed cemetery soil is 15–25% air by volume; you are pushing through it, not digging. Move toward any source of light or temperature differential you can sense. It exists. Graveyards are not underground rooms. They are fields.
7. Make noise upon reaching surface. If it is night, cemetery workers will not be present. Shout, wave, and move toward the cemetery exit or road immediately. Do not sit on your grave to collect yourself. This is excellent advice for metaphorical as well as literal reasons.

The Victorian safety coffin — featuring a bell on the surface connected by string to the occupant's hand — was not considered eccentric at the time. It was considered responsible. This tells you everything about the Victorian era, and also something about ours.

— Coffin Info, with genuine fondness for the Victorians

Modern Safety Measures

Several companies currently sell "safety coffins" or burial alert systems, including models with oxygen tanks, two-way communication systems, heart monitors, and emergency alarm signals. They cost between $500 and $5,000 and are, per actuarial tables, almost certainly unnecessary. They are also, one must admit, deeply reassuring for people who lie awake at night thinking about it, which is more people than any of us discuss at dinner.

The Coeio Safety Pod features a built-in motion detector that sends an alert to a designated contact if movement is detected post-burial. This product exists. You may purchase it. We find this information both comforting and, in the 3 AM hours, extremely unsettling.

Sample Funeral Memorial Speeches

A good eulogy is honest, personal, and occasionally funny — because laughter, even at a funeral, is a form of love. A bad eulogy is vague, generic, and delivered by someone who clearly has not spoken to the deceased in eleven years and is working from a newspaper obituary and vibes. The following samples are offered as templates, inspiration, or cautionary tales, depending on your needs.

A note on delivery: A printed copy of your eulogy is non-negotiable. Memory under grief is unreliable. Voice will tremble. Eyes will blur. Speaking from notes is not weakness; it is how human beings function in the presence of genuine loss. Bring the paper. If you cry, pause, breathe, continue. No one in that room wants you to stop. They are all in the same place you are. You are simply the one standing up.